


Masks

by an_unnoticed_writer



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Fluff and Angst, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, My First Fanfic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating: M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2018-12-15 08:37:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11802426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/an_unnoticed_writer/pseuds/an_unnoticed_writer
Summary: A Youtuber has just reached one million subscribers, and what could happen when his idol, H2O Delirious, contacts him to play with the rest of the BBS? Watch the highs, the lows, and whatever hilarity and drama ensues...(And this is why I hate summaries)





	1. Landmarks

**Author's Note:**

> Hello... I'm an_unnoticed_writer... I'll stay unnoticed, but I'll try this first chapter out and see how we'll it does... Perhaps I'll continue if there is some interest, or it'll rot in the back of my story dungeon where they go to die... Either way please let me know what you think!

“So, I guess... I should start. Shouldn't I,” I ask myself, muttering anxiously. I turn the microphone on, systems set and stock images ready of my self-created avatar in Gmod - a man with a fashionably torn, navy-blue overcoat, a simple charcoal gray shirt, khaki pants, deep purple hair, and my one-of-a-kind mask covering my ‘face’. Designed by me, I love seeing people trying to get the details close to perfect, but for now they're halfway decent at it.

Taking a long, calming breath, I start with a small smile on my face, “Welcome to my parlor, everyone. Unlucky Pied Piper here! I see that this little pub we've started is going amazingly well! We're one MILLION strong and we've been in operation for exactly two years now! I'm just the happiest that you've all taken the time out of your precious lives to listen to lil’ ol’ me... But, I honestly couldn't be happier! And, as many of you have graciously,” I drag out sarcastically “reminded me, I said I'd do a voice reveal at this moment in time.” I begin fussing with my mic, turning off my trademark cyborg-esque voice. I've never even shown my face, hell I've used a voice scrambler to hide my ‘self’ even more, but things are about to change. “Ooh! Oooooooooooooooooh!” I harmonize as I had practiced for the past few months. Exactly what happens at the end of the ‘Drake and Josh’ theme song, then quickly switch the modulator back on. I guess I should mention that it's not a permanent change, but oh well - maybe later on. “All done! You all should know that I'd kid with you right? I'm sorry, all. I just... I'm way too nervous. I don't want people to know who I am. I'm the freak show to end all freakshows, and if people knew, I don't think I could be the same Piper that you all know and enjoy. Instead, I'll give you a hint to where the original Piper is. I currently live in the Midwest area of the USA. Good luck finding me! And I wish that I could stay and chat, but I must be going, but as always I'll see you... next time. C’ya!” I quickly close my systems -not editing the video, but I'm still putting it on, prepared beforehand with the montage and outro - and just as hurriedly open my YouTube Channel’s Facebook account. I quickly typed out something that I couldn't add to the video without it sounding like there was an audible jump. 

 

‘Hello everybody~~ I wish that everyone here and those that don't know me or anyone like me, but let everyone know that they are absolutely LOVED!!!! Even if there's something that might be wrong today, just know that everyone around you loves you. Even if you think you are alone, feeling like you don't have a shot, everyone feels your weight, your tears, and - more importantly - your passion and your personality. Maybe you don't see it now, but you affect those around you. We're all drugs, and we're all addicted to the lives and love we bring together! Stay loved and love yourselves!

 

~Piper’

 

And clicked to post it for my little following. I then notice a notification from my computer, blaring YusukeKira's ‘Circles’ passionately, powerfully, and lamentably. I click open, questioning why people would be messaging me - and especially since I haven't really networked like other people did that achieve the ‘status’ of a big name ‘tuber as I have. The person that has messaged me was just astonishing; a mystery man known as H20 Delirious, or Jonathan as some people know him better as. He only wanted one single thing: make a video or two with him. I sit in my chair, crying and smiling all at once. One of my favorite and biggest inspirations willing to work with me. I give him a general message, exchanging Skype and Discord accounts - and warning him that my modulator is still on those, so he'll hear my fake voice instead of my real one. Three hundred videos later and I'm with some of the knights that calmed my dreams. A short while later I get another ping from my Skype, it blasting a fan made song called ‘Lucky to be Unlucky’. Dancing in my chair, I answer. Then I hear a giggle, one that no one could ever forget once they've heard it. 

“Hi.” says Jonathan.

“Hiya. Welcome to my humble abode. You rang?” I respond grandiosely, as any of my followers would expect.  
“You know you can drop the act right?” He says calmly, and so I make an audible breath, and retrained my mouth.

“Hey, so... what'cha need?” I ask, modulator on and camera on my mask as I stared at his own. His piercing blues and my hidden hazels lock together as if we've been friends for what seems like eons, but at the same time this moment is the very first moment of a horrible date. “You're that nervous about yourself?” he asks.

I only giggle in response, but I could never reach the infectiousness that Jonathan’s did. After about five seconds, I give the most sheepish “yeah” that anyone could utter.

"So, I know you know who I am. Or at least more than what anyone knows about you. So tell me something that your fans don't know yet. And then we'll talk.”

“Dafuq?”

“You heard me.” 

“Do I have to?”

“Yes!”

“Fine... my first name is Alex. We good?”

A manic giggle was the only response, but I couldn't help but join in with the amazing laugh. “OK, of course you have a name that doesn't identify what you are. Everything about you is a secret, and I fully understand what that means in the YouTube world. I've seen your videos and I love the way you're able to entertain the audience. Perhaps you, me, and a few of my friends could go on for some Gmod later? I just have a feeling we'd all get along well.” well, didn't he go from ‘Seriouslerious’ to ‘Casualerious’? 

“You know, I'd like that. I can't guarantee much, but thanks.” I say, smiling at the monitor showing the hockey mask that Jonathan made his persona. “So, do you have a date set up?”

“How about Sunday? I know Sundays are the least busy for you, according to your posting schedule. I'll talk to the guys, and uhh.. what do you wanna be called?”

“Piper.”

“Ok Piper~ I'll see you when I message you. Better be ready, got it?”

“Got it mon capitaine.” I salute him sarcastically, eyes noticeably crossed. He laughs again, waving and finally signing off. When this happens, meeting your biggest muse, you know that you're gonna blow a gasket or five. So I sit there screaming and laughing like an overly excited five-year-old without a single care in my soundproofed bedroom. There's nothing that could make this day a bad one... Well, almost nothing - but I'm not thinking about anything like that. I spend a little bit of time going through some fan emails, replying to a few of them as fast as my little hands could type (Granted there are only seven unopened ones that were in my inbox). It's six a.m., so I've made it through the night unscathed by the animatronics - I make the overused, somewhat stupid joke.

“You up yet, Alex?”

“Yeah, I'm set ma.” I reply on the phone. “Don't worry, I slept too.... I'm fine, but I'm getting ready right- don't worry I will. There's no worries, and no regrets... I miss you too. Buh-bye mum.” As she hangs up, I feel a little guilty knowing that I lied about sleeping, but ignorance is bliss - right?

Today is now Saturday - sure I have videos to record, but I mainly use today for editing and getting artwork for thumbnails via constant commissions from some close online... I guess I'd call them associates. And I can say that there's a LOT of editing that his on when I easily had six days of footage to sort through and cut. I finish editing my last episode for the game ‘Ib’ and finally publish it a week after it had been fully recorded. By this point, I start looking around in my music folders to motivate me to get the last bit of school work I need done. Right now I'm blaring GHOST’s ‘BROADCAST ILLUSION’ and drilling in my AP English and Calculus homework before throwing up both middle fingers and crash at around two o’clock that Sunday. I'm back up at four, pencils stuck to my face and shavings tangled in my short, bleak brown hair. I rub my face to get rid of yesterday, and begin today with a glass of water. Not a healthy breakfast I know, but I'm not thinking about anything like that. I walk towards my bathroom, the mirror prominently displayed amongst clutter of laundering clothes and other health care items.

I clear off the sink area and grab some tissues and makeup remover - seeing that it looked like my skin was turning into broken porcelain. Wiping off the concealer, I stare at my face - how disgusting. Five large scars and dozens of smaller ones paint my face, and they haven't faded a bit since I got them four years ago. These fiery red details make me look hideous, and yet no one notices that I'm not showing my real skin. 

“I swear, if I didn't have these, I'd never know how to wear makeup...” which I guess I have to be happy about, otherwise I couldn't go outside knowing that I'm just a beastly, monstrous being in human form. I hate these things, but I hate the thing that they cover more. I need music. This time Creep-P’s ‘Father’ appears from my playlist, and I growl at the ‘perfect’ timing of this stupid song. Without hesitation, I skip it and move on to Miku-tan’s cover of ‘Evil Food Eater Conchita’. Oddly enough, this also fits. These monster makers consume my life as Conchita describes, both in lyrical detail and video images, how she literally devours almost everyone and everything - eventually including herself.

This I play on repeat as I redux my concealer to my face, first to ‘vanish’ is my thickest scar that starts from the bottom of my left ear lobe to the corner of my jaw. And that's just the base. It extends across my cheek, gradually getting narrower before ending at the opposite side of my nose - half an inch away from my right eye. Now comes the two that mirror each other, at the outer edge of my eyes looking like bloody tears. They arch down, and end at the top of my jawline. The one around my left, brown eye intersect with the first, but the narrower end is just barely able to poke out from the larger one. The last prominent two are on my forehead. Over my brown eye is an upside down ‘V’, and my hazel one has a twisted, incomplete, blood-red halo - both just centimeters away from tearing up my dirt brown eyebrows. The smaller, human nail sized ones dot my face like demented freckles. I feel my nerves getting to myself, cringing as these last pernicious few always sting like fucking murder.

And, afterwards, (which quite honestly is over two hours later) here is ‘me’; the person everyone knows and loves, never knowing that there's more to me than intoxicating sweetness and a shoulder to cry on whenever someone can't handle their emotions - which is quite often in my little friend group. Yet I can't cry; if I do... I need to be the rock for everyone's sake - crying doesn't work. Semi-satisfied, I look with my phone's camera to look and see how believable it looked in different lighting. Not seeing anything too blaring, I put away the concealer, remembering when I tried to cover the ones on my torso too and how messy that was. A t-shirt was all I need to not show those, granted, it feels weird to be submerged in the water with one on while I'm swimming at home (which is pretty often in the summer when I'm not recording) and I have a shirt on as I'm in the water. Those look like roots stretching up and across my skin, varying in thickness and length as well as starting places. I was teased once when a rude jock in gym class compared them to a fancy corset around myself, and I retaliated ‘and you know what one of those are because...?’ With that I never took another gym class again, since my high school (thankfully) doesn't require those classes anymore to graduate. It's... interesting being a Junior in high school and on my own, renting a small house in my hometown - let alone be someone famous and anonymous on the Internet at the same time. It's small, dull, and kinda messy, but it's home. I continue to look at myself, preparing my colored lens - and apply it to my left eye deftly; now my eyes are hazel through and through. After I'm done, I try to relax with some modern swing music - and also forgetting about the monster in the mirror, but I'm also just screaming in my head with excitement. When he calls I don't even let a full measure of ‘Lucky to be Unlucky’ play and answer, modulators in place and mood façaded.

“Ready?” he asks.

"I've been up since four this morning, I know I'm ready. So what mode are we gonna play? Prop Hunt? Murder? Sandbox?” I spitball.

"I have to introduce you to the guys first.”

“Of course.” I reply sheepishly. I see that one person pops up on the private server, his mark image was a bold and prominent ‘M’ in black with a white shell.

“‘Sup Delirious? And who's the newbie?” Then four other names pop up right under Mini Ladd’s; I AM WILDCAT, Lui Calibre, Basicallyidowrk, and Vanoss.

“You want me to introduce you, or are you gonna do it?” he asks, and I feel their digital eyes on me. And I answer to that fear as I normally do; tackle it head on and I'll feel the trembling later when I'm on my own.

“Nah, I got it. Hey guys, the name's Unlucky Pied Piper. Piper for short, and Delirious asked me if I wanted to play with you. Here's to something!” I say before I laugh maniacally, and Delirious joins me.

“Oh, great. Now we've got two of these bastards playing together.” Tyler replies.

“So, let's play!” Lui squeaks in his kiddy voice.

“Let's let the new... ah, Piper pick.” Vanoss suggests, trying to be witty but was confused about what he should call me.

“And what the fuck is up with the chat? Piper sounds like a fucking robot,” asks Craig.

"It's not you, I use a series of modulators to hide my voice. Think of me like Delirious but a little more private.” I reply.

“Again, exactly alike.” Tyler repeats.

“Ya know, I'm in the mood for some Prop Hunt. Sound good?”

“Sure,” they answer casually. We load and I see that Delirious, Craig, and Tyler were one team while Lui, Vanoss, and I were another. The first round Lui and I began looking for those goofballs. 

“Your character is pretty!” Lui squeaks as we spawn.

“Do you like him? I got to make him myself.” As he looks at my mod, and he gasps like a kid would in astonishment. The map was the Five Nights at Freddy’s restaurant, and when we immediately exit I notice an open door. I tell Lui where I'm going in the team chat, and he grunts in acknowledgment - moving on to somewhere else.

“Hellooo~” I half sing as I entered the arcade before I see that someone got stuck as an arcade machine in between two others.

“Now come on Piper. Piperpiperpiperpiper, we can talk about this.” Craig pleads, and I think that I shouldn't help. But I try to give him a stuffed Chica doll anyway.

“Can you change dearie~?” I coo deviously.

“...no... NOOOOO! NOOOOO!” he replies meekly before I begin shooting him with my automatic. Then he does a weird half-cry, mooching it quite a bit.

“Why?” he asks, as if he was on a soap opera, completely hamming it up to a point of over-exaggerated sadness.

“Because fuck you.” I reply curtly as soon as his name pops up in the top right-hand corner as dead. And everyone, including me, just begin laughing - Lui clapping slowly and Vanoss gasping for every breath.

"The drama... Mini went overboard and you just... that's amazing!” Tyler comments in between bursts of laughter, and everyone laughs even harder - even Lui and I stop moving just to regain our composure. Not too longer and in the same corner we see that Tyler died to gravity, and he comments on how little he cares as long as he got a good laugh out of what he was paying attention to.

"So now it's down to Delirious... and we have four whole minutes left.” I state.

“Yeah!! This should be easy.” Vanoss agrees. With that, for a while, we were left to our own devices. Slowly clearing rooms and being as cautious as we could, the time slips away.

“Hey Delirious, can we have a hint?” Lui asks.

"I'm gonna jump scare you!!” he replies before belting out another series of sinister laughter.

“He’s a stuffed toy!”

“Nah, he’s a Freddy stuck on another Freddy!” Evan corrects me as the top corner killfeed shows that he got Delirious with a nuke. And we all giggle, and we giggle louder than what I ever could alone. Background noise aside, I see that I'm getting a text - but I don't see the name or number and I shrug it off as my friend Chris trying to show me some silly vine about Vocaloids or some other random shit. I continue playing, and I get a genuine comment from Vanoss about my character too - and I'm just glad someone appreciates something that I've done and acknowledges it. I turn into a stuffed Bonnie doll and whisk myself away into the back office, disappearing under the desk since the chair behind it was just far enough away to not be moved by my unexpected presence. I type into the team chat where I am just for common courtesy, Lui is hiding as balloons in the main area and Vanoss didn't say quite yet - but to look for him when we spectate later on. They spawn in, and Tyler starts laughing.

"Lui, what the hell are you doing?”

“I wanted to be balloons, and give myself to Chica but then I got stuck in her wires,” Lui squeaks back.

His name on the killfeed wasn't too far behind.

“Vanoss...” Lui says normally, but dying from laughter.

“Yup.”

“So it's clear we've fucked up somewhere.” Tyler acknowledges.

“Where to look?” Craig asks as I shift my camera angle to look out of a hallway and I spy one of them.

“I don't know, but let me step into my office and take a look?” Delirious replies, bursting into the room that I was tucking inside of. I need to say something, but what?

“Hi, Mr. Delirious, sir. This is your secretary speaking, would you like some coffee? Fruity umbrella drink?” I decide to play a game with him within two seconds after his initial barge in. Dangerous, sure but I can get past him. At least I think...

“Yes, yes I'd like to get some coffee please.”

“Alrighty, I have a pot brewing in the closet and mugs are to the right and I'll... uh... be right back after this commercial break!” I say as he was left into the closet while I exit out of the open door.

“What?”

“Delirious you idiot!” Tyler screams, since he died at one point that I don't really remember happening. I guess he seen me give Jonathan the slip while my team (including myself) just snicker that such an odd farce worked as well as it could.

“So there's no coffee? You liar! I'm gonna come an’ get you!” Delirious replies, and rushes back through the same door that I had exited. There was a second door that I hid myself behind and I took that opportunity to replace myself to where I was before, and Lui started snickering again. Another minute passes and no progress has been made, but soon Vanoss starts screaming.

“Come back here you bitch!” Craig hollered, nuke exploding in the background. Evan’s only reply was more screaming and Lui was guffawing about how Evan was able to evade Marcel’s shots.

“What's going on, Mr. Delirious?” I ask, and no one was replying. Waiting isn't really one of my strong suits, and so I exit out from underneath the office table. I begin to meander around the halls, and I get to see Marcel. I can't help myself. Slipping under him, he trips and dies as a soda can Evan begins the hopping teabag taunt as I follow suit. This was honestly one of the best nights of my life. After about 12 more rounds for both sides and everyone has enough footage for videos, everyone begins to exit Gmod and we just start talking.

“Hey, Piper.”

“Yeah, Evan?”

“What made you decide to start Youtube? I mean, we all have our own reasons.”

To forget about everyone around me. “To be honest, I had a little group of my own. We were all growing together, and at around four thousand subs my little pack stopped recording - except me. So I did a lot more of the solo plays, and I eventually blew up to the one million I have now.”

“No, what I mean is why did you begin in the first place.”

“Well, not to be a rude guest,” as my persona would say, “but that's classified for now.”

“I'll keep telling you that those two mask-wearing-hidden-face bullshitters are exactly alike,” Tyler half sneers at us and we just laugh as infectiously as possible. Partly to prove his point and partly because I personally wanted to hear him laugh and have him laughing with me.

“Alright Delirious One and Delirious Two. Good night bitches!” Tyler sighs and signs off. Soon, everyone's gone offline except for me, Delirious, and Evan. We continue to talk about the most random things, from the most embarrassing things we've done (I'm not gonna start with this one) to alcohol preferences (I lied about that and remembered an alcohol commercial on tv) to the weirdest sentence we've ever heard (I think that I won with ‘Lose all of your common sense and get an afro!’ - that really cracked them up) and before long, I had everyone's number, even those that had signed off and didn't even play but I was assured that I'd ‘play with them soon’ and I comment about how sick that sounded out of context. I gave them my number as well, well I kinda had to after the what seemed like three hours of them asking. As soon as I did, I was spammed with their texts, memes, and any other shit they thought of. Everything that happened that night was a whirlwind; it blew by in the blink of an eye and before I knew it, I was waiting for tomorrow to come sooner and talk with them even more.


	2. Anguish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes slight drama with a slightly estranged friend... Kinda similar to how Luke is normally portrayed in the fandom now that I think about it... Oh well. And I'll have to get the dynamic more set in later chapters so... Filler with meaning???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... here I am again...  
> But seriously, thank you for the support for someone new to posting! Here's to something!
> 
>  
> 
> ~an_unnoticed_writer

“Where the hell were you? You always answer!” Chris whined when he arrived at my apartment about fifteen minutes after I finished with recording and chatting them. His broader shoulders tense with confusion, and I hate that every action that he does conveys how muscular and more masculine he is compared to my androgynous appearance. His honey-blonde hair was almost a bowl cut, except it was a tad bit shorter and way messier. Chris has known about this set up, and he is the only person who knows who I am. Or at least more than what anyone else who remotely ever sees me knows. 

“I was recording with some new friends,” I reply.

“Anyone I know?”

“Mini Ladd, H20 Delirious, Vanoss, Tyler, Marcel...”

“Wait, the better question is you actually recorded with another person?” he reiterates in disbelief slightly cutting me off.

“Delirious asked me to.”

“So a famous Youtuber asked you to record with you and you haven't done anything like that since what, month three?”

“I guess.”

“I don't know whether or not I should be happy for you. But at the very least you could have told me that...” he sighs wistfully, leaning on a chair and arching so his torso was parallel to the ground.

“And to think that you could be doing the same if you still did YouTube, eh Suhpore?” I respond slightly acrimoniously, reminding him of his old name.

“Don't.”

“What? You made that name for yourself, and had five thousand subs under your belt before you just quit for some ‘unexplained’ reason. I never asked an everytime I try and bring it up you've snapped... What am I supposed to think? Sure you stayed unlike the others, but you still left me... And... And...” all of the emotions I had downed out from my ears began resurfacing. Tears begin forming, hands begin shaking, and eyes are rapidly shuttering in and out of focus.

“I had my reasons-”

“That you’ve never told anyone else. Not even me,” I cut him off, sobbing intermittently. Let’s just say that YouTube can be a very touchy topic when it comes to him, more his channel than anyone else’s - even mine. I begin vibrating uncontrollably, it was almost like I was having my own personal earthquake of emotions and the shaking would only continue to get worse. He’s seen me like this before, twice actually, and he somewhat knows what to do. He goes around me, and hugs me - careful enough not to crush any of my scars. At this point, he tells me some of my favorite things; song lyrics, sweets, just anything that he could think of. My eyes are just barely open enough to allow me to see a distorted image of him smiling, grabbing my phone and playing some of my favorite songs. JoyDreamer’s German cover of ‘Servant of Evil’, ‘True Love Restraint’, Lizz Robinett’s ‘irony’, and when ‘The Tragedy of the Chateau Cepage’ begins to play - he begins to sing along. Sure it’s a little demented that of all things a story-song of a man in the 17th century kidnaps a girl in a birdcage and keeps her there for as long as she lives while killing the girl’s fiance is the song that calms me, but his deep voice just really soothes me more than any other song could. Why do I have to be like this. Vulnerable, fragile, like my mind is made of glass. Anger is what I’m trying to convey, but all my body says is ‘I feel so alone’.

“I never meant to leave you. I quit because I didn’t want to hurt you, but I see that quitting hurt you a lot more... I’m sorry,” he whispers.

“Maybe you would, I don’t know, like to start again? You never deleted your account, right?” I ask him like some five year old would.

“Sure, Alex. Sure,” he replies “But I don’t have any of my old equipment.”

“Oh, about that... remember when you put all of that stuff on your curb? I took it as soon as you went to school and I had that sick day. I’ve also traded it up when I got new stuff for my channel. It’s all in a box under the guest bed.” I respond sheepishly, blushing at that old memory.

“You’ve always been the sentimental type, haven't you?”

I only sniffle in response, and I start to beam with happiness. Hell, maybe Chris could get up to where I am and we could do some of the great things that we did together again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to warn whomever decides to read this, my writing schedule is sporadic and I'll be posting as soon as I finish self-editing (or self-deprecating in some cases) but don't expect anything too linear. And before anyone asks, Chris' YouTube name is pronounced like 'Super' but with more emphasis on the 'er'...


	3. Suffocation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I guess this would be an extension on Chapter 2... but it wasn't written until now and I thought Chris needed more fleshing out then what I gave him.

So... that all happened didn't it? I feel my breaths quicken and become shallower because HOLY FUCK, GODDAMN! This has been one of the most amazing things that have ever happened to me. Not only do I have a friend back, I have more gaming buddies that I've looked up to since they've started.

I can't give this much thought, otherwise I know I'll spiral down again... but now things are actually starting to look up between this and the million subs is just... Overwhelming. Instead of letting a voice of doubt that I know is inevitably coming, I do what I normally do when there's a lot going on... draw on a mask. Hell, that's how my official Piper mask came about. I go upstairs to my room, and head towards my closet. Small enough for me, but others I could easily see them call it a hole in the wall. On the floor,I find a box and grab a blank canvas to draw on out of the dozens still inside. With that, I sit on my bed - simple, with dark blue-grey sheets and a lighter grey comforter with dark blue stripes - and I begin to zentangle. For whatever reason, this allows me to express myself and not try and self-destruct because I know I'm afraid. Afraid of being too content. Afraid of being too stable... Afraid to get attached and then, before I know it, get completely annihilated because I get too... addicted to the feeling of having friends. 

But... I'm never one to keep people that have known my skeletons. My mom... my sister... Ms. Lawrence... the friends at my old school... I'm not gonna let myself get sucker punched again. I mean, as long as I don't get too attached I won't mind if they leave. What Chris and the others did almost made me give up... so if I lose someone else... 

No. With these tangles, I have decided I won't get clingy. I'll put my masks on and I'll never be abandoned. I don't care if he... tries something. They won't know, the school loses a burden, and everyone will just question why I ‘left’. It just seems flawless that way. They'll never get to know a person they've never seen, and I'll never be good enough for them so I won't have regrets not meeting anyone. 

I began with a floral pattern on the left eye and spreading through the rest of the side, over the left temple and across part of the forehead. Curved lines that all connect in a myriad of twists and turns look like vines where all ends are capped with circles are spreading across the other side until I suddenly get a call from Chris.

“I can hear you drawing your feelings out from across town. Need to talk?” I swear to god he's psychic when it comes to me.

“Nah, I'll be fine,” I reply and immediately he replies ‘bull’.

“What do you mean?”

“When you draw, 99 times out of 100 you're trying to get control over something. What's on your mind?”

“I don't know. I'm just nervous... you know how I get when I think about being content,”

“So you're afraid that you'll like them too much and they'll leave you?”

“Yeah, you remember how my attitude became when everyone left the first time... I don't wanna break again.”

“I get ya. I'll stay with you. If not in YouTube, I'll still be by your side like I always have. That's what friends are for, right?”

“I'm sorry for not asking ‘why’ sooner... I was mad, but I thought you'd tell me when you were ready. But, the thoughts kinda festered into what I did...”

“Nah, you're fine. And I honestly doubt they'd leave you. It’d be one thing if you left them, but they're tight and they still hang out together.” I take a deep breath, and stare at the mask, where the lines looked like they were about to consume the eyes and head entirely. I understand now. I'll be okay... right? But remember them as they are now. They aren't the old squad. These are... these are more... friends then co workers.

“I guess I'll be okay now. But I know I'll be cautious.”

“Better than nothing, right?

“And I need to ask, how did you know I was drawing?”

“I put a bug in your kitchen...”

“Wait... Whaa???”

He gives a short, three-pronged chuckle, “I'm just messing with you. I just had a feeling and I was right, apparently,” I hear his hand land on what I think is his lap before saying our goodbyes and calling it a night.

“But... but I don't wanna go back to those feelings. Not after all these times I've gotten past them...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like a YouTuber asking this but:
> 
>  
> 
> Please comment below to say what's on your mind and to show your support! Even leave a Kudos if you think it's good enough and I'll see you... next time, bye!!!


	4. Dismay ~ Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well... I honestly forgot that I published this on AO3.... well then...
> 
> I'm so sorry for making everyone wait, especially since I kinda moved on to something completely different that quite honestly requires more attention than anything I've ever written before. If you're in to Danganronpa, I might have character intros soon. If not, never mind that.
> 
> Between that and being in my last year in high school has just been an absolute nightmare for me...
> 
> But with that out of the way, I'm presenting a part of the next chapter I have for you. Tbh the rest isn't finished but I feel guilty for not posting when I thought I could... To Planetary Life specifically, March... May... close enough, right?

Monday came and went like a trucker on a deadline, but it felt a little... empty. I filmed myself, but there just wasn't the same feeling when I finished before. Maybe... No. I made myself this promise, and I haven't broken one for myself yet. No one knows what I've been through, and no one knows what's underneath. These promises I'll never let go of, and this'll make everyone happy as long as he doesn't throw a wrench into things. I haven't made anything too special - just a one-off game on Steam - but I guess I miss the company more than anything. If Spice and Wolf taught me anything, it would be: ‘being alone is lonely’. Do I wanna play something with Chris? Or should I look around for another game? I don't have any interest for a series quite yet. Perhaps I could see if I could join in on something Delirious is doing? I don’t know... I haven’t posted what I recorded with them yet, but I have no idea what the other fanbases would react if I just became a part of the ‘Vanoss Crew’. Even the name sounds weird with me. It sounds so egotistical of the fanbase, that he’s the BEST when it comes to anything. What about how Mini can be so calm, yet have so much rage in his tiny body? Or how Moo is such a considerate guy? Why not just the ‘Banana Bus Squad’? On second thought, names aren’t that much of an issue. I see Delirious, CaRtOoNz, Ohmwrecker, and Bryce all talking on Discord and I... well, I intrude on their conversation. 

“I'm just sayin’, there's nothing to worry about. He'll be fine.” Del says, and I see I'm in the middle of something... 

“I'm always down with trying to play with someone new,” Bryce chimes in with his normal, overly-sweet demeanor.

“‘Aight. Let's ask Piper about what's up,” says Luke, practically indifferent. 

“Ask me what?” I choose to intervene.

Jonathan gives an exasperated scream of shock “PIPER! How long have you been here?”

“Eh, depends. How long do you think I was here?” I reply. 

The chatter goes hesitant for a good minute, and I just sit and twiddle my thumbs to wait and see what they would make up as an excuse.

“We were just about to ask if you wanted to play some Dead by Daylight with us,” Bryce beams and I can quite easily guess that he’s got one of the largest grins on his face. Kinda weird how he can be so happy no matter what, but I kinda envy him because he can stay so upbeat while I’ve gotta keep looking over my shoulders before I can even smile sometimes.

“Ooh! I’m not the best, but I guess I’ll get myself set up then,” I reply, and I boot up the ominous game.

“Does anyone want to be the killer first?” I ask after everyone is booted on, and immediately Jonathan says yes. Wouldn’t have surprised me, except his evil laugh... is it weird to think it's cute? He’s... Deep breaths, Alex. Deeeeep breaths. You're getting yourself too attached, keep that promise in mind.

“Jason? Jaaaaasooooon? Are you there?” I asked menacingly.

“How'd you know?” Del, I can only imagine, looks like a deer in headlights.

“Because I am an esper.”

“You're a whozit-whatnow?”

“I'm only kidding Delirious! It's just good intuition,” I give an unconscious giggle, and I begin to stalk around the cornfields of the Coldwind Farm. I spy with my little eye, one little Jenny to be whisked away by the Piper! I am SO glad I didn't say that out loud; Jesus that was creepy. I'm just twiddling my thumbs, getting checkpoints close enough to count - but they're nowhere near perfect.

“Ocean! Ocean! OCEAN!” Bryce begins to scream, and I don't know what's going on over by him, but a flurry of half-hearted yells and one goofy serial killer’s laugh ensues as I finish the generator without anyone acknowledging it. I'm just silently hiding, and I see more madness continue.

“DELIRIOOOOOOUSSSSS!!!” Luke screams at the top of his lungs, and Jason takes a swing at his feminine character model. He jumps over barriers, and the juke-games begin. Slowly, I begin to creep around the escapade between Jon, Luke, and possibly Bryce because I'm pretty sure that his player model was on the opposite side of them. How the hell did he get away? Eh, in this game you don't ask questions as long as they don't pertain to your own survival. In the corner, I see Luke’s injured and still four generators needed to be complete. This'll be a rough game; I can tell already.

“Fucking hell Delirious.... you don't go easy for someone’s first time,” Luke is practically panting like he was running in the game himself. This little show’s been going on for easily a minute. I shake my head and move on going the way I came.

“Should I make the joke?”

“Piper no...” Luke chuckled and begged at once.

“Piper yes~~~.”

And we simply broke down into a combination of laughter and shouting at each other. I begin to walk away from the scene entirely, and I meander my way to a different part of the map. To my surprise, I see Ohm in the corner fixing another generator. I begin to help and see he's made it halfway through on his own.

“FUUUCK!” Ohm yelled.

“There's no reason to yell over poppin' a Jenny, Ohmie... They're not after...” I catch myself.

“Delirious has been used the whole time??? Nooo...” Delirious exclaims mockingly.

“Well, I guess that can’t be helped. I suppose He’s just gonna have to leave his love interest alone for a little bit.”

“WHAT?!?” Delirious cries out.

“Oh, come on Delirious, you don’t need to fake it, we know there’s something all going on with you two...” I decide to joke a little.

“Yeeah! You know it! Come on, Piper! We’ve gotta finish up here!” Ohm says confidently.

The game continued for quite a bit longer without much action going on, as a suspenseful game should. We only had two generators on our to-do list from then on, but we barely made banter that would be worth posting on YouTube. I'm not Nogla, so editing’s a thing I suppose. 

“Alright!”

“C’mon! I have the door started.” Ohm discloses.

“FUUUUUUUUCK!” CaRtOoNz yells.

“You okay?”

“I'm hooked!!!!”

“It took damn tiiiime!" Del taunts, and I can't help but attempt to stifle my giggles.

“I feel like we can all infer what he's hooked on~” I chide.

“Yeah, the FUCKING HOOK BITCH!”

“I don't know about you, but I'm outta here!” Bryce glides by... Where the hell was he for, like, the majority of the game?

“Let us jest, shall we?”

“Nah, I'll play it safe...” and with that, Ohm vanishes from the map.

“Now to find the Piper! MuwAHAAAAHAAAHAAAAA!”

“I feel like I've heard better...”

“shUT!”

“Okay, okay I'll ‘shush up’.”

“Not this shit again!” Delirious moans in agony.

I'm so close to Luke's hook I can practically take him down myself. I don't see Del anywhere near here, so... I decide to take a risk.

“Need a lift?”

“Isn't that something a killer would say?” Bryce asks.

“Not if he's lifting him on his dick!” Ohm shouts.

“Okay, Ohmie, you're just trying too hard at this point.” I reply.

“Gonna have to agree with that.”

“I mean, we all know he's a tryhard, but that's just sad.”

And in that moment...

I had let my guard down too much and was stabbed in the back.

“Luke, you better get away. I shall die a martyr... the Piper that was unlucky enough to be caught and killed by Jason himself...”

Delirious just cackles away, and Luke just gives a simple grinder as he runs off to who knows where. I just look around for some decent-ish shots, but it doesn't matter much anyways.

“Jason gotta kill!! YUUUS!” Delirious cheered after I had been taken off by the spider god.

“Well... eh... Not bad if you ask me. I just took CaRtOoNz’s place.”

 

~~~TO BE CONTINUED~~~


End file.
